Yet i've so many thoughts, dreams, wants, needs, fantasies and desires. i believe that i think too much at times. It's so much easier for me to keep these things locked away, inside of me, inside of a deep, dark place where i know they'll be safe. Where i know i'll be safe. Yet....only to have them creep out of the
darkness into my mind trying to rekindle the flame that burns weaker. So i reach out and take hold of those thoughts and feelings needing to feel them just one more time, because they're burned into my soul. i want to forget, i want to let go but at the same time i'm consumed by them. Unable to forget the way they've made me feel. The good, the bad, the heartache, pain, disappointment, guilt, fear, excitement, wanting.... so afraid to express what is in my heart and soul. Who i really am. Feeling like a little girl, naughty...afraid of what others might think of me, how i may be judged for my thoughts, feelings or actions. So many mixed emotions. Wanting to just cry, yet unable to. Then feeling like i'm drowning in a river of tears that have not yet been wept. i keep telling myself... day at a time, baby steps. Life goes on.Love & Peace to all,
